#12 - The Celebration Gap
Why high-achieving women rush past success — and how I’m learning to do it differently.
Since I got my degree result on Monday, a lot of people have been asking me how I’m going to celebrate.
And I love that question — because it’s one of my favourite coaching questions to ask my clients.
Here’s why: High-achieving women are often terrible at celebrating. We achieve something amazing... and then we immediately move onto the next thing. We downplay what we've done. Well, if we managed it, it must not have been that hard, right?
Wrong!
Just because you did it doesn’t mean it was easy. It means you worked hard. You persevered. You did something you couldn't do before — and now you can. You’ve gained something that you didn’t have — a qualification, a certificate, a result, a sense of progress.
That matters.
And it deserves to be celebrated — not just with dinners or cards or “well done” messages (though those are all lovely), but internally. Deeply. In a way that lets your nervous system take it in. That helps you register the shift. That says: This is who I am now.
So how am I celebrating?
On Monday night, Edd and I sat down with some Nozecco and dinner. He gave me a card, and honestly, it was just perfect. This weekend we’re seeing Edd’s parents — and I’ve no doubt there will be more celebrating with them. Then next week, I’m having lunch with some of my clients, which feels really special — to celebrate this milestone with the very people who have been part of my journey.
And then there’s the graduation.
I’ve chosen to attend the ceremony at the Barbican in London this September. That place holds special meaning for me and I know it’s going to be a powerful moment: getting dressed up, walking across the stage, surrounded by the people I love, picking up that certificate that represents four and a half years of sheer effort.
And I’m definitely getting a photo done. Framed and on the wall. A reminder of everything it took to get there.
I don’t want this to be a fleeting moment of “well done” and then on to the next thing. This isn’t just a celebration — it’s a series of them. With different people, in different ways. And that feels important.
Four and a half years of effort deserves more than a single high-five and a glass of fizz.
Yes, I can feel that tug of “what’s next?” — the question people start asking before the ink on my results has dried. I know I’ve got a decision to make around postgrad study. But I’m not rushing it. It’s late July, and I’ll come to it after graduation. I’m not aiming to start a new course this autumn — and a few months of breathing space is not going to derail anything in the grand scheme of things.
Instead, I’m going to take some time to focus on growing my business — and just enjoy what it feels like to have one big focus at a time. No more splitting myself across every domain. No more overachieving in all directions. Because that’s a fast track to burnout, and I’m not doing that again.
But there’s another reason I’m choosing to celebrate this moment — and it’s a deeply personal one.
Because I never thought this would be possible.
I’ve been to university twice before. First to study Law — I only lasted a year. Then to study Quantity Surveying — I made it three years out of four. The only reason I stopped that was the financial crash: I was working in construction at the time, and my projects just dried up overnight. Redundancies were coming, and I had to pivot or lose my job. I retrained, I moved on — but the regret lingered.
Not finishing a degree stuck with me. I told myself I should have done it. I believed I could have, but I also quietly questioned whether I actually could. Was I really capable? Or was I just not someone who sees things through? That inner critic ran riot in my head: “You keep laying eggs everywhere, you never finish anything.”
So when I started studying psychology in 2021, that doubt came with me.
What if I don’t finish this one either?
That fear didn’t vanish overnight. But I did something differently this time: I broke it down.
Every stage became its own milestone. After the first year, I’d have a certificate. After the second, a diploma. And after the third? A degree.
I took it module by module, assignment by assignment. I didn’t try to eat the whole elephant, I just focused on the next bite.
That’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve taken from this whole journey. Big goals are intimidating, until you break them into small, doable actions. Don’t aim to get a degree, or a PhD, or put a man (back) on the moon. Just aim to take the next step, while holding on to the vision that’s guiding you.
And that’s how I did this.
That’s why this moment matters so much to me.
Not just because of what I’ve learned (though I do know now a lot about psychology haha), but because of what I’ve proven to myself along the way.
That whatever I want in life, just go for it — I can do it!
